Have you ever wondered what heaven will be? Do you ever have those moments when you feel the breath of God upon you. You feel a presence so soft yet so strong.....waiting for you.
This past summer was a summer of deaths. It felt as though every time I turned around someone else had died a tragic death or was fighting the battle for their life. Their time of suffering on this earth was over. There was no more fear, no more pain, no more sadness. But, when that someone is your heart.....it is devastating. When my grandfather passed....I literally feel to my knees, broken, hurting, angry, screaming in pain at the broken rip tearing through my heart. All the while my innocent little babies sat and watched their mamma fall apart. I'm sure it was scary for them...and yet, I was incapable of pulling myself together. Until, this small, sweet child of mine crawled in my lap and said, " but mamma why are you sad, papaw is with Jesus!"
My 2 year old remembered the Truth, when I could not see through my pain and anger.
Will I the next time? For that time will come....when someone I love is pulled toward the light and I am left behind. Longing for that peace, longing for the piece of my heart that drifted into a peaceful bliss.
The painting I am posting today is called : " My Soul Will Rest In Your Embrace" it was created the day after my parent's friend died a tragic death. It felt so senseless and it made me question....why lord, why? Did he die to save a bus load of children from a careless drunk driver? We will never know the answer to that question this side of heaven. But I am reminded of two verses that have carried me from my grief over the passing of my grandfather.
" It is the Spirit within, the Breath of the Almighty, that gives understanding."( Job 32:8)
" ...all along there is this hope: that everything God made would be set free from ruin to have the freedom and glory that belong to God's children." (Romans 8:20-21)
I have been reading a blog all summer/fall called http://mundanefaithfulness.com if you haven't read it...I highly recommend it. Each day as I read her words and her newly released book " The Hardest Peace" by Kara Tippetts, I am so profoundly reminded that there are so many little things in this world...that truly do not matter. What matters the most is pouring love and truth into my family. She is dying and yet reminds me so very often to love big and look to Jesus....not sit in my yuck, but to remember in my weakness, there will be grace and strength poured into me. Thank you sweet friend....may God bless your final days with your family.
Even as I write this post I have learned of yet another friend who has died a sudden death. It is a shocking blow....why do I forget so easily that my days are numbered...why do I let the insignificant things of this world distract me from truth...from running towards that truth daily..seeking the face of Jesus...seeking his comfort...his grace....his peace...
This song has helped me so much to process these deaths and this dying and prayerfully paint my way through these questions. I hope it helps you as well.
Praying peace for your souls..... Remember what is important today...do not let the world distract you from your purpose.